Meaningful Distractions

My tiny kitchen which now seems way too big with no need to cook, know what I mean?  Ahhh!! The chocolate souffles we turned out of here!!

The brave remainders so boldly sitting right on my 60 year old tile floor next to my winged vehicle!!

In case you didn't know, Corgis will do ANYTHING for food.

Even the tiniest crumbs.

This empty box was a good twenty mintues of chasing around the room, throwing it off, getting "stuck" over and over. Yeah. Good times.

GEEZ LOUISE--i just realized that i hardly ever talk about the wind! and i am typing free range style without the captive use of capital letters. OK. I will settle down, kind of. 64 degrees. What do you think of that? and CALM. Not even a baby's breath whisper out there. I know. I just came from out there--dog walking if you want to know. All right. A girl can't be depressed all of the time, can she? No is the answer to that question and because OH MY GOODNESS!!! No less than FOUR fabulous things have happened to me in the past two days and only ONE sad and sorry thing which involved NOT getting a job which involved human cattle prod over study hall students and even though I should (sniff! sniff!) shed a few tears over that one-NO! I am no stranger to rejection! In fact, I have come to know rejection quite well--not that I count it as a friend, but we are on familiar terms. Which counts for something I dare say. Strange bedfellows these days are. I promised you a brief respite from depression, so let's go! Why I Am Single-a term paper sordov. Hey. Want to hear a funny story about sordov? One of my knucklehead students was writing on the board and he wrote a sentence with the word "sordov", and I stared at it for a couple of moments-not getting it-thinking it was some kind of vodka and when I asked him--he scoffed-my students were professional scoffers and said: "Oh Lange, it's SORT OF, you know!!!" Ha, ha, ha-gotta love those teaching school memories-but yeah back to why I am single. One might think that I am single because I smell bad, which I don't because I use the sandalwood spray my beloved daughter got for me or Chanel which is way too sophisticated but I can pretend, or because I have a tattoo on my back which is curious because 1) I never see it myself 2) my back is probably one of the only parts of my physical self NOT pretending to age a bit, or because I am funny looking and YEAH I was one of those girls sooooooo looks challenged that I pretty much despised ALL pretty women until about 6 hours ago hahahaha!!!,Ok, I quit being jealous of pretty women awhile ago but the mirror is not my friend suffice it to say although I will say that there are QUITE A FEW looks challenged people around these days so I know that I am not the homeliest, or you might think I am single because I cannot keep facts and figures and names and dates lined up in my head as I should, like ducks in a row of course, the knowledge in my head is much more akin to a junk drawer full of fantastic treasures or a compost heap that sits for so long it sprouts unicorns and dandylions and copies of Baron Munchausen and I have a friend who gives me bags of FABULOUS fabrics which keeps me sooo happy and she can talk about anything, anyone, anywhere at anytime and she gets everything RIGHT, OK I guess I am envious of brainy women too but not my friend because she is SMART like a whip and NEVER condescending (like all smart men I know) oh my goodness did I just say that out loud? oh well, no matter, I keep trying to sharpen my brain up, run it through anti-aging old people exercises but it is quite perverse and insists upon reading favorite Henry Millers repeatedly and trying to get even an enth (I think I just invented "enth" and I LOVE IT!!) as skilled at drawing as THE GREATEST ARTIST IN THE WORLD, or dreaming up crazy plans like making 1,000 TAXMICE to pay off my debts-100 down, only 900 more to go----sigh!!!-- or you might think it is because I pull TV marathons on my wee computer and movie marathons on the same wee computer at any and all hours of the night and at a moment's notice, case in point, I recently turned a scandalous age and celebrated by watching EVERY episode of EVERY season of Breaking Bad which I know did some hopefully not long-term damage to my career plans and ideas as to how to raise funds (I know, let's build a meth lab!!), or you might think I am single because I have popcorn for breakfast and Almond Joys for dinner--snack size!! they have the word "joy" in their name for gawd's sake, or because I have never dreamed of owing a house, a second car, wearing furs, diamonds or getting my nails done, or you might think I am still single because I wear my favorite clothes until they are rags, my favorite shoes until they are full of holes, and my sweaters until I have thumb holes in the cuffs-they're convenient--and NO DOUBT--if you know me you might have a brazillion more ideas as to why I am single and that's ok or maybe you don't care and just wish I would be quiet already but in case you haven't noticed--SOMEDAY--someday!!! I plan to win for writing the loooongest sentence in the known universe, but here, here is why I am single because for GAWDS SAKE, look at this kitchen, a little galley of a kitchen being gutted and scrubbed down and emptied because who the hell cooks anymore and for whom? all right the wee doggies, but other than them? and then--me slightly crazy single woman with no one to tell her that she does everything the wrong way-gleefully slaps on a coat of paint to cover all of the flaws!!! Yippee!! How cool is that? Are you shaking your head? I hope not, because I can't always be all morose and worrying about death and taxes. Sometimes I have to write about the simple joys, like remaking a kitchen to match a refurbished life which YOU GUESSED IT, includes a corgi with her head in a Milkbones box. Love always!!!