A Chance to See

A chance to walk along and witness unexpected beauty.

68 degrees and overcast. And we persist. Not content with the ending of the reality of our lives, not connected to the days of laying out Grandpa on the kitchen table, and surely not ready to leave what is not finished behind, we turn to list making, bucket list making, the 5 things I regret, the 10 things I wish I would have done, the glorious Before I die fill in the blank wall, and today? This fabulous overcast little bits of blue peeking through beginning of possible adventures and for sure welcome experiences sky morning here in my little corner of the cosmos, not one less than THREE how to die gracefully articles hit my cyber box. Enough. There was a time in my life when I accepted input faithfully, how to home-school, how to spin fleece, how to bake a vegan cupcake, how to mix a killer bloody Mary, how to read everything Joyce Carol Oates ever wrote, how to light a hot water heater--you know, joyful, funny, tangible, USEFUL advice!!! Life seemed BUSY and ACTIVE and connected to this whole tangle of doing and learning and making the best of and fixing and knowing with certainty. Fast forward a lil to the past four years . . . darling people close to my age, please, let us not forget to see what we are still surrounded by and with inside and out. Believe me, I am no expert at this, and once in awhile I still put the horse blinders on and plod past truth, beauty, and what I should notice. But life slowing down in some respects, grief opening an uncloseable chasm in other respects, and the pathetic plethora of well-meaning how to grow old gracefully literature that reaches my tiny crab shell, has give me -- HALLELUJAH -- my new directions and I love them as the greatest lovers EVER. Are you ready? I bow before, kneel in front of, learn all I can and notice every EVERY single thing my heart and brain and eyes can hold in the impossibly wonderful worlds of NATURE and SCIENCE. Watching videos from Mars, listening to Sagan and his star stuff, witnessing the unearthing of a sealed up apartment in Paris, crying over the sunken coral statues in Mexico, and marveling at the French girl and her elephant as best friend and walking ANYWHERE in our overpriced beach town--all of these things and a brazillion more-- reward me with miles to go, dreams to witness, and assurance that life is a constantly moving river and I am part. I am through with lists. I must join the human condition and at the same time, the FABULOUS star dust which guarantees me--all of us-- a place in the vast order of life and death. This HEART FLOWER is for beautiful and kind without equal BL who is better now and I want her to know that she is loved and respected and needed very, very much. Love always my friends!!