Cloud Factory

I remember, long ago, when I believed such things mattered, I read some Feng Shui book that urged me to throw away everything dry and dead--as if that could open up new "flow" in my life. I used to call that cleaning my house, and I tried the Feng Shui way. But now I know better and take much comfort in the papery dry petals of this rose and know that it is all part of our run here.

73 degrees and clear. Just sat through a first run of Crime and Punishment and if that won't rock your world, nothing will. This morning I read parts of the NY Times. I love to believe that I am all intellectual and stuff and DAMN the NY Times is SO well written and SO depressing. I never, ever knew that there could be wars in so many places at once. Tonight I am tired. Tired of writing. Tired of endless alterations on shredded costumes. Tired of planning a new week. Tired of adding up non-money. Tired of feeling so down about my Sancho. Tired of the whole world actually. Tired especially of our cavalier way of making bad things all right . . . places like stockyards and killing floors, huge SUVs that have no problem taking up a fat lane, being jerked around in supermarkets with their "get real" sales, of the new Fall fashions featuring furs (and note that fine alliteration!), believing that art exists to be sold, writing has to be published, and fame accomplished--and now this? Besides the millions of children and babies who will go this entire day without food, despite the continuing drain on our pockets and hearts for death and destruction in the name of war, and not even counting the wise and should be cherished elders among us who live out their last years alone, lonely, and sick--BESIDES ALL OF THAT-- the front page of the aforementioned NY Times has a MUST READ article on OUR total and complete and you cannot argue with the facts WASTEFUL USE of resources because of US, yes YOU AND ME and our constant and continual need for digital information. I did not know any of that!!! I truly believed in a "cloud factory" of well . . . some sort of alien cyber clean energy sort of pulling it out of the air magic computer stuff. I was SO WRONG. Tonight I am curling up with a good book and NOT sending this to anyone. If you want to read my remaining days out of 30-I love you for it. And thank you. I just truly believe that we must find a better way to live on our brilliant blue gem of a planet. I AM STILL GOING TO KEEP MY PERSONAL VOW OF 30 DAYS and LOVE ALWAYS!!!!