BEGIN AGAIN                                 MARCH 22       2018                                   WORK

                                                        CALL ME  AN "ARTIVIST"

Good morning. You can tell by my oh so serious tone that I have something world changing to report from the trenches of artistic endeavor and unrelenting creativity.  Don't worry, my prose will stay wordy and flowery enough to spice up your coffee and web searching.  I am going to explain my new concept and reality of WORK through my three photos uploaded before you. 

                                                        "IT'S BEEN AWHILE"

1) The Little Pieced Swing Coat with Velvet and Silk

Having spent a lifetime, literally my lifetime, learning to sew, making a billion presents for people, clothing for my beloved children and children of friends, stitching hundreds and hundreds of theatre costumes, building fabric sculptures and creatures, researching designers and fashion shows, learning techniques from some of the local best, selling quilts and dolls and clothing and everything hand stitched, and teaching myself every imaginable stitching trick in the proverbial sewing book, I landed on this foreign shore of desert.  I WAS STRAIGHT UP SHIPWRECKED AND EXHAUSTED. In one of my characteristic fits of straightening up, I had cleared my house of my very last bits of hoarded fabrics and costumes.  All that remained of my stash was a small wicker basket of folded and refolded fabric scraps donated to me by one of my best friends, my dragon's lair pile of thread, and my workbox of collected treasures; buttons and bits of ribbon from Paris (!), found rare pieces of lace and ribbon, and all manner of sequins and rhinestones, because, c'mon, you have always got to have shiny! And there I sat, tables cleared, floors relatively cleaned, and . . . and . . .
                                                        well, NOTHING HAPPENED!
  No lightening bolt of brilliant new inspiration, no neon lit path of illumination, no clearly defined direction, NOTHING. It was simply me, sitting in my fairly empty house, wondering NOW WHAT? Recovering from a broken hip (yes, I just said those words) gave me plenty of opportunity to research work, the economy, how to survive "old" age with little money, how to keep busy, work with purpose, the meaning of life, why do anything, etc etc etc and just as I was about to take up permanent residence way down at the very soggy bottom of the rabbit hole-I found this long hidden photograph of a little swing coat I had pieced and trimmed and ??? Here is where the AHA moment I had been waiting for occurred.  Just how had I made something so beautiful and where did it go? AND MOST OF ALL, HOW COULD I EVEN THINK OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE?

2) A Quote about Art from Billy Pilgrim's Creator

And yes, thank you, I have read the article about his new biography claiming that he was bitter, angry, and depressed in his later years.  He had quite a life. Interesting the expectations we have of each other as we take our turns facing the grim reaper. The judging and comparisons just never stop. Oh.
Wait.
I apologize. It is morning after all and I was talking about me and my AHA moment and filling you in on my new WORK.
OK.
But Vonnegut is correct in his quote about art I believe.  I simply cannot stop myself from seeing patterns everywhere, beauty in the commonplace corners of life, and wanting to create wonderful costumes and clothing ALL THE TIME.  It is only when I endlessly search the MOUNTAIN of goods online that I despair . . . in no way can I add to such excess.  I have been trying to "start a business making things" ever since I first landed on the West Coast many, many years ago. I seriously yellow legal padded my arrival and subsequent quilt making and selling in Oregon, through stitching alterations and years at the various Beach Shows, art markets, local artists stores, and my first ETSY attempt.  Honestly, all of that sewing work met with limited success and all those endeavors and sales were far, far from being able to support me.  Except when I lived in Eugene, Oregon in a tiny house with a tiny rent, many cats, and much, much rain.  I did quite well.  It might have been the cats.

Now, however, cotton has gone from affordable and available in many downtown stores to frightfully expensive-organic is even more costly-and our fabric stores have closed.  Except for a precious few stores down south of me, I must commit to hours online ordering fabric from small photographs.  I can no longer JUSTIFY the endless production and consumption, the even more endless manufacturing, the even more and more endless stockpiling of clothing stitched in a small very small part by me and all of the others (who seriously NEEDS all of this clothing?) AND most of all, I can no longer buy high priced yardage with a clear conscience.

                                                    The Beginning of Clarity (THANK GAWD)

My new WORK has to be sustainable, environmentally protective, and worthwhile in all ways I was proclaiming to myself as my eyes came to rest on the small wicker basket of scraps from one of my best friends.  And there was my answer to a few years of searching, questioning, and researching-seriously-"right in front of me" as a supportive close friend recently wrote to me.  Rather than looking at that small pile as dwindling resources and evidence of my failure (?) to thrive as a creator-those donated scraps EMPOWERED me to do what I do as best as I can.

                                              ~LIVING MY WORK LIFE AS AN ARTIVIST!!

3) She is a beauty, isn't she? Her smile literally can and does light up the world.  She is unlimited potential.  She is passionate and determined and constantly curious.  And even though her beautiful, beautiful smiling face would make you smile right back, even through your computer,  there is something about this picture I DEARLY AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE.  I look at this picture when I am wavering in my beliefs.  When it is JUST SO MUCH EASIER to keep consuming and kidding myself as I stand in line to buy yards of new fabric, mail away for expensive hipster patterns, pretend that my one last plastic bag, my one more non-essential purchase is OK because it will make me feel better.  I look at this picture when I am thinking beyond myself and my lifetime to the resources and communities and ways of living that will be left when I am gone and she is an adult.  I owe her everything.  The greatest gift I can give my granddaughter is the gift she demands of me . . . to care deeply about our environment, to protect and nurture all the animals, and to hold in respect and great reverence our jewel of a planet.  I must make good on this-for her sake. 

            So here is my new WORK proposal and there are many ways you can help me.
                                                   
                  I plan to have my revitalized ETSY store open by mid-April at the latest.
                                                         My store is named xanxan.

ALL OF MY CLOTHING listed for sale will be made from thrift store finds, second-hand donations, fabric which is thrifted as well, and donated from friends near and far.   In order to quiet my voice that tells me that nothing I ever do is "good enough" I am going to admit straight up that nothing will be perfect.  My stitching is impeccable and I will ALWAYS do my best to satisfy EACH AND EVERY customer, but I live in the real world . . . with imperfections, second-hand clothing, fabric from ancient stashes, too many late nights and long hours, and rescue dogs.  You will never find me posting a sanitized glossy lineup of perfection photos.  I will guarantee that EVERYTHING YOU BUY from me is made with all of the love and creativity I've got, that part of the proceeds from every sale will go to a worthy cause that you will help me choose, and that you will be helping us both be a part of something bigger than ourselves.

                                    I THINK THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

I truly believe connection is our greatest resource and survival tool, but as a loan wolf I am uneasy in many social situations.  However, creating beautiful things and writing is my bag baby and finally FINALLY I can wallow in the potential of doing both and connecting with like minded people. When I feel as though there is NOTHING I can do to help the sad and sorry situations in our world (I won't bother to laundry list them at this moment-remember, we are being helpful here in this Brave New WORK World) I can make a precious something to send to someone AND by using recycled and repurposed clothing and fabric I am NOT contributing to our collective vast waste piles of unnecessary everything. NO FAST FASHION EVER!!!!
                             
                                                HOW YOU CAN BE AN ARTIVIST TOO

1) read my blog and dialogue with me!
2) send my blog out to everyone you know!
3) visit my ETSY store and heart me for gawd's sake! look how sincere I am!
4) send my ETSY link to everyone you know!
5) send me your stashes of fabric that you know you will never use! Or bring them to me!
6) send me your questions and ideas as you start repurposing and upcycling clothes!
7) NBN!! I make two exceptions to my "never buy new" policy. I'll bet you know what they are!
8) let me know if you would like some sewing lessons!
9) stop using plastic. just stop.
10) send me ideas for worthy causes that need a bit of financial fuel!

                            A FEW LAST WORDS (FOR NOW) AND BRASS TACKS

Am I wealthy? Oh dear gawd no, I live month to month like most of us. But as an artist and an ARTIVIST more importantly, I do have a bit of magic in my toolkit. And this is the best of what I know: not having enough money to survive is cruel.  Poverty is ugly and deadly. Yet helplessly standing by as entire populations fall victim to cruelty, reading endless articles captioned with photos of dying polar bears, and witnessing the violence around us-commonplace and impossible to control it seems-has caused me a death level amount of anxiety. I have practically wrung my hands off my wrists in despair and paralysis. Almost every single cause asks one thing of me and ONE THING ONLY-send MONEY.  That I do not have. But I have my artistic heart, my willingness to comfort the friendless, and a burning, all consuming desire to leave a legacy of doing my part to transform WORK into art and art into ACTION. This is the best I can do.  With your help I can craft this business-MY WORK-my ETSY shop:

                                                               xanxan

                      to truly stand for a WORK which is worthwhile and meaningful.
                             Let's shove off this shore and launch this tiny boat!!!!!

Have you finished your coffee? Well, THANK YOU for reading and in acknowledgment of the beauty around us I'll finish with the ending poem from "The Shape of Water".
                                                         And LOVE ALWAYS!!!

"Unable to perceive the shape of you, I find you all around me.  Your presence fills my eyes with your love. It humbles my heart, for you are everywhere."